i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
