yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
