After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
