Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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