Moan for me like Helen Keller
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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