please come you make the beer taste better
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
