YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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