she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
