She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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