Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
