Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize