Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Randomize
