You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I puked a lego.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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