so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
