I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well I just put wine in my tea
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
