direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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