and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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