i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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