I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
