I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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