we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
