i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
