Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
