I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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