I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize