Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
