My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize