i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
