His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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