Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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