u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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