It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Floor bacon is actually really good
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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