and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
