Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize