Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
handjob tips. give me some.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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