After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
