well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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