i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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