Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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