well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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