Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
