Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
