Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
