Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
