they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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