Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
