He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
