Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
