one two three fourrrrnication!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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