I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
