I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
