yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
