I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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