I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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