What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
BRING THE BAGELS
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
