her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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