im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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