Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
