I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
