my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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