i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
