i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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