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dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
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